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Bullies are far too scared of being seen to be wrong.

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Using (physical, emotional, sexual, verbal or financial) bullying, so that you can at least feel that you have control or power over a situation or person is a dangerous (and it must be said, cowardly) diversion from the far scarier inner-fear of being seen by yourself, as a potential failure.

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In essence, bullying is like insisting that you must persistently trample down an up-escalator, whilst ignoring all the signs that to get any truly worthwhile feelings of control and power, let alone freedom, you need to turn your behaviour around by facing up to and overcoming your fears (of being seen as a failure), instead of repeatedly failing to "pay them off" by escalating the fears of your victim.

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This turn around, does not mean that you give up on trying to succeed, it does however, mean that you try to pay your way by using and sharing the decent things in life.

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 Note: The fear of being seen to fail is of course a ridiculously, unrealistic and unforgiving, fear-based demand for any bully or indeed his or her victim to obey or live up to. Particularly so, if your answer to a situation happens to be wrong, and your bullying makes it wrong for even longer.  

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Measuring up to a Bully

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There are bullies in the garden and bullies in the school. There are bullies into politics and in the swimming pool. There are bullies in Scunthorpe and in Delaware. They’re even in religion but to prove they really care they always leave their victims with an Elastoplasts of prayer. There are bullies in trousers, skirts and in the nude. Some bullies are polite and some are very rude. There are bullies into football, cricket or squash. Some bullies are very poor some have loads of dosh. Look, there’s a bully hiding inside a gang and one behind a bush. Some brag about their bullying others tell you to keep “Shhh!” There are bullies from the north, south, east and west. Some think themselves rubbish others think they are the best. There are bullies inside buildings and out in the street. Some bullies use their fist others use their feet. Others use their mouth a knife or a gun. But no matter where they are, bullies are so scared of being seen to be wrong, they even force their victims to come along. In short, anyone is big enough to be a bully - but are you my friend big enough to stop yourself from being one?  Apparently, size does matter!

 

Some useful tips to giving up on bullying are: 

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Start being honest with yourself and those who you deal with.

Lighten up on your own expectations of yourself and others.

Start to think about reclaiming any of your Life-qualities that in some way may have damaged or neglected by being bullied or belittled. ​

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If you think that you would like confidential help with any issues of reducing or giving up on bullying, domestic violence, or anger issues then search on line for help-lines, advice services and drop in centres that offer experienced based assistance and mentoring.

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