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Sex is just one shimmering room in the building of worthwhile relationships with others – and within yourself - no need to turn it into a prison cell.

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Like all of our instincts in life, sex is meant to play a balanced and balancing role in creating and maintaining any healthy relationships within yourself or with other people. Including when sex is used in trying to enjoy, express or exchange power and control within a healthy relationship. 

 

In short, by vastly overvaluing sex offending as a way of feeling in control or powerful, you undervalue your intended victim, yourself and the power to change for the better.

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However, just as bra’s are meant to support tits (not potential) and erections are meant to support cocks (not promises), so our misinterpretations about sex can also become morally-misaligned.

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So, if a person’s sexual desires become so unbalanced and unbalancing that she or he wants to commit a sexual crime, then unless they are re-balanced, his or her self-control, self-worth and future can be toppled onto crime’s ever slippery and plunging floor - which will include all the levels at which offenders can no longer enjoy expressing or exchanging any worthwhile power or control, because he or she will inevitably lack any healthy regard for a victim or them self.

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Nevertheless, and contrary to the short-term self-interest of any hormonal urges, or any outside influencers, sex is only a small part of life as a whole, and is certainly not a cause worth over-spending too much time and effort on - let alone risking your mental health or prison for.

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Useful exercises:

Re-aligning your alliances with the other healthy needs in your life is a good place to start. 

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Re-educate and replace any wrongful sexual fantasies , behaviours or attitudes which have been taught or condoned by others (such as misjudged parental, peer or institutional influences), or corrupted after witnessing or being victimised by a sexual crime or wrongdoing. 

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Note: Although your sex drive is instinctual (and not learned as such), your sexual fantasies, behaviours and attitudes are most definitely learned, and so, can be unlearned (and replaced).

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Lighten up on sex, think about what you could be doing (and the list can be as pleasurable as it is endless) without pursing or having sex for a while (longer). 

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If you think that you would like confidential help with any issues of reducing or giving up on sexual offending, then search on-line for help-lines, advice services and drop in centres that offer experienced based assistance and mentoring.